~~Dyslexic devil worshippers sell their souls to Santa.

~~I can't waste another minute/After all that I've put in it/I've given you my best/Why does she get the best of you/So the next time you find/You wanna leave her bed for mine/Why don't you stay

~~He who thinks by the inch and talks by the yard deserves to be kicked by the foot.

~~Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

~~"What a way to build up our self esteem. Thanks Mom."
"I don't care about your self esteem, you loser."

~~Always make sure that the lines on the Windex bottle always line up... Don't put that shit halfway. Bad things happen to good people.

~~Sometimes I wonder, "How is that Frisbee getting bigger?"... And then it hits me.

~~If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.